Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happy Deepavali.

A very long one, for those who have the patience to understand the hypocrisy of us, the current generation! For we are not responsible else where in the name of pollution, but only on a Deepavali day!

It's Deepavali, probably the first in my life that we miss being with the rest of the family since my birth. While those are mixed emotions which am not penning down now but when I look back and compare at the festivity when I was young and what it is now, I felt in the name of technology and progress we are taking away a lot of fun that my generation had when we kids.

I vividly remember the build up to Deepavali each year. Even 6 or 8 weeks earlier to that we will start thinking about new dresses! Yes those were days when we got dresses for festivals and special occasions and not necessarily because we can afford to buy. In our days we used to be content with those dresses for the whole of the year and would use it extra carefully to ensure that they do not get worn out or seen as often as possible. These days, we buy stuff just because we can afford. Not necessarily clothing's, but anything!

Then the dreams of various crackers. We would have made up our mind on what we would want and would have built a virtual list of sorts to take it to our parents for funding. 

Then comes the last 4 weeks where everything in the town would go bizarre. All of sudden discounts, shops really filled up, friends checking on whether we started shopping, families recommending good shops etc.,. Shopping for clothes used to be a special occasion by itself. I do remember those days when we had done with shopping earlier, I used to try my new clothes almost every single day or at least fondly have a look at it.

Then the last 2 days, Crackers! This is where almost of our generation would have learnt the art of bargain and negotiations. Albeit with our respective Dads. Often there would be push backs either on costs or on security, but we would somehow be able to reach a truce between ourselves and then starts the boasting around! The local friends circle whenever we get together for weekend cricket or evening chats, all of the talks would be around the crackers and some will say he got this much and I would counter it with something. This was more like building our own self esteem!

Meanwhile, when the children would be working on the clothes and crackers, the elders would be checking on the organizing the entire event. There goes the formal invites in the face of respect to the daughters' families and where appropriate clothes for them as well. Then comes the planning for sweets where a cook (who will be in greater demand) and bring his team home and prepare homemade sweets not just for the family, but for friends and acquaintances. I still have the image of our cook who would make sweets for 2 long days with his team and how we were prohibited from tasting those sweets until it was all approved! All that was prepared would be boxed and would go rounds to friends and the members of the company. We would also start receiving a lot of sweets from our friends and families as well. No restrictions whatsoever on what needs to be ate. I know my dad and uncle used to print greeting cards and post it to friends!

Then the D-Day where almost a 3 day break would be in and we would be waiting for the entire cousin set to arrive and the eve of Deepavali would be just crackers, crackers and crackers. We would normally go to bed around 11:00 in the night and wake up as early as possible to ensure that we were the firsts to start firing crackers on that day. But we would do so only with a lot of discipline. We will have an oil batch, then offer prayers to God and then start the fire works as early as 4:00 AM in the morning. As much as it would be fun, it was a competition as well as in, for the noise levels, the dust on the streets and later on in the night the sky fire works! It was such a joyous moment.

Coming back to reality, I think we are robbing these joys from this generation and the following ones. There is no excitement whatsoever for these kids because they have everything that they need and they treat this day as another holiday. Most of us are glued to the TV sets; all greetings are on FB/WhasApp. Furthermore, with whatever new found wisdom about pollution, we are asking for an e-Deepavali I believe. I don't know what it means but literally no crackers! While pollution is a larger problem and for all I know when I drive once between Chennai to Erode I pollute more than what I did in my Deepavali day, or carbon emissions from industries or an ozone penetrating aircraft pollution or for that matter New Year celebrations even within India or IPL start and closing ceremonies we burn crackers. And we ask these kids to stop firing crackers in the name of pollution! 

I know crackers were not what Deepavali is all about. It is festival of lights! Got it!! But in the name of responsibility, we are robbing the excitement, the joy from these kids. This is why I call it hypocrisy!!!

I know this could potentially be counter argued but the more mature and people with more sense of responsibility than me, but I do stand by what I say. We should fire crackers.

I know this could potentially be misconstrued as a Hindu thing by the more secular folks, but I do stand by what I say. We should fire crackers.

When I look at my nieces and nephews, there is no excitement. They deserve this excitement for Deepavali to be much more colourful than it is these days!

For those who fire crackers! Have a safe and Happy Deepavali! For those of you who all celebrating an e-Deepavali, Happy Deepavali. Think about firing crackers please! It is so much Fun.

Happy Deepavali Folks!

Regards,
Raj.

Monday, October 7, 2013

5th October, 2013

Frankly, before I started this one, I did go through what I wrote last year just to ensure that I prepare to defend myself should I have given some promises. Thankfully, I made none then!

First up, thanks for all the wishes. It really is a lot refreshing and may be when we are ageing, it is really is heart filling when a lot of people wish you. Doesn't matter where they get the reminder from, but a few seconds in their positive thoughts gives me the energy forever.

This year, of course for all obvious reasons has been very special and it really was a mixed one personally and professionally nothing much has changed.

I probably have started my transformation. Oct 2nd, 2012 was when we confirmed that Leela has conceived and since then, the journey has been really a roller coaster. May be during Leela's first pregnancy, I did not probably understand what a lady goes through during pregnancy and how well men should support particularly during this era of nuclear family. I wouldn't call it tough for I really relished this new responsibility of a caring husband and responsible father, but certainly did challenge me a lot to change myself.

Until January, Leela had nausea trouble and on and off we had the mothers coming and supporting us. However, during the periods when it was not possible, that is when I had felt more responsible. Waking up at 5:00 which was never a chance earlier, getting things ready for my ladies, waking up Nilaa and getting her ready for school and packing her off, then getting Leela feel better to me leaving to office only to return by lunch to take care of Nilaa and of course this was a bit of a run for me and new one too. But I did relish that and enjoyed every bit of it. This period was one when I realized what women go through in their life. My patience running out when Nilaa gets really out of control and Leela not pulling herself up, the normal calm me did lose my control at times. But looking back, that period really did change me a lot. Cannot imagine my life without ladies for they give everything! 

February to April marked the elevation of the next generation in our entire family from being the protected to protectors. Yes, the last two of my grandparents, both my grand mothers passed away in a span of two months. It was sad to let them go, but this is nature and we need to keep moving. What was important in those two instances was that it showed how we as cousins are still what we were. Even after these many years, after all the changes that has happened in our respective lives, with change in priorities, we still care for each other and still stand by each other. This revelation was very charming to know that our cousins have the same shoulder until a decade back and we can look up for each other for comfort. Now, we all realize that, we are the middle generation, our parents moving up to be the eldest of the generations and with our kids coming through, we now are assuming the role of protector of our parents and our kids. This for me, is a bit scary as I was not too sure if I can handle, but that is beauty of Mother Nature. Am slowly slipping into this and most importantly, the elders are giving away that tole to us. 

May was, the ultimate. With Oviyaa coming in, life suddenly is too different and this is when I probably started turning myself into a different person. Life seems a bit more relaxed and am having different perceptions to the challenges that I face both on my personal and professional sides. I hope, I build on this and am very curious to see what the transformed Raj would look like. 

Like what I said earlier, this year has been a very mixed with letting go of our roots while new fruits (as many as 6 Gen next's coming out) being delivered. Our parents are the roots now and we have to become the backbone, trunk of the family. 

The whole of this year, I think my thoughts have been only with my family in ensuring that our transformations were right. I have missed communicating with many a friends, but friends are friends, they understand without having to be told about the problems I face. It's a liberty only friends have! 

My team has been rock solid in supporting me when I went through this. Almost all of them were thrust with new responsibilities and with me not much being around physically for their counseling, they also have grown! In one sense, now they can become the protectors and I can safely be the protected, but am not going to stop.. ;)

This birth day on the 5th was a bit laid back with all of us spending time together as a family at our place with a relaxed dinner and some chit chat. I wish all birth days are similar and it becomes a day of celebration as a family. May be, the Ramzan's, Christmas' and Deepavali's or any other festivals were some sort of family get together's which has now crept into every form of the society.

The next year and the following ones, I probably am going to take it simple and want to take life slowly. For some, it may seem pessimistic, but for people who see my pragmatic side, can understand what I mean. This does not mean am not going to be ambitious or do not want growth or whatever, it is about seeing things evenly with calmness and optimism.

May be, next year the same time, we shall see whether I would be able to get started with this goal.

Having read through this entire stuff, I know you could be saying crap. But, I know (with some sort of arrogance) that am blessed with all your love.

I love to be loved....
I live to be loved....

As Always,
Raj.