Friends Acknowledged!

Friends are the ones that define what we are and how we lead our lives... I can boldly and in one sense arrogantly say that I'm leading a good life with so many around to wish me well, though deep down, I know that, sometimes I do not deserve such unconditional love and support. But that is why friendships are unique isn't it! There are no judgements in friendships. It is just support and support and support....

Each day is for friends for we find a friend in dad, mom, brother, sister, wife, and in all forms of relationships.... But this day is the day to acknowledge that unique meaning of a friend who lifts you up with his hands, shares shoulders just when needed and say am there for you even with silence...

விழும் போது கை தந்து...

அழும் போது தோள் தந்து...
இளைப்பாற மடி தந்து...

To all my friends... Acknowledged!
I may not the best to keep in touch, but am touched. :)
- Raj

Hail BVB

Initially, I wanted to name this post as "Giving Back to our teachers", and even now, I feel that is right, but this one too is quite an apt one for the emotions that I have while I draft this post. May be the title looks a bit arrogant, but read through please..

It is said and felt that life is the best teacher as it trains us by giving all the tests. It's pretty much true isn't it? Now when looking back, all the teachers some of whom we adored and some of whom we abhorred, they are probably the best people in the world after our parents. I read it somewhere, teaching is the profession which creates other careers. How true is that! And yet, those teachers after doing the noble job of shaping us remain yet so humble. How much as a society, or even as an alumni have we given back to them.

Now, when I say, giving back, it is not pay back. All they need is acknowledgement and gratitude. When I look at my life, everything that I have including a great set of friends is from my beloved BVB; A school that was for all possible reasons of dominance during our generation, across studies and sports alike, was adored and abhorred as well. Lead by a great correspondent Dr. L. M. Ramakrishnan (I do intend to write a blog on him on how he taught us all what leadership means), supported by Mrs. Aruna Ramakrishnan as the president and administered by Mrs. Karthiyayini as the Principal, a great team of teachers who instilled a lot of dreams and aspirations in us! Am not emotional or overly proud about it. No other institution can boast of an holistic development of people that this team has done which has, in my personal view, created a lot of next generation leaders in almost all form of life!

When I wrote about CAP of life, little did I realize that it was BVB which gave me that. I truly believe that BVB handed us that CAP there by shaping our lives by training us on how to be committed in a cause, how to be passionate in what we pursue and most importantly a never give up attitude.

Alumni meets are a norm across all colleges, universities and institutions. 

As like any of the student batches, we our own circle of friends used to be in touch and of course meet each other during every Indian summer. It so happened that in 2012 when we met in Yercaud, we were discussing that this is not enough and we should possibly be doing a bit more and out of some instinct, a couple of us did say, why not do it at school in 2014 where we complete a double decades of being the alumni of the school and so on.

Eventually, as always, we forgot that and we moved on. This year, when the natural organizers for our reuinion, made the proposal and out of nowhere came in a suggestion of a friend who visited the school, can we do it in school, in less than 5 weeks, here we are at the brink of what I call as history. 

Now, is it a get together?? No. It is a life time event for all of us when roughly 65% of our batch mates from across the globe are going to be under one roof where we meet and greet our beloved teachers and staff. When we set out to on this task, we knew very well it is an uphill task, but then with the CAP we had, we know for sure this will be nothing but a spectacular event. We quickly moved from a get together to a reunion which now is nothing but a show of gratitude to our school and its staff.

I know there people have said that we cannot create memories, BVB batch 1994 pass outs are creating a lot to cherish forever. We proudly, yet so humbly are showing  and the our gratitude towards them on the 12th of July, 2014 where 90+ of the alumnus meet and greet 55 teachers and 15 supporting staff at our own backyard. 

While I wish I was there in person, I would not regret that, because that is what BVB has taught me. To just keep moving..

This event is telecast live across the globe and I'll not miss it. 

Gratitude is attitude. BVB taught us that. 

Generations after generatations, BVB will continue to stand tall and its legacy will go on until each of the BVB students are alive! 

Frankly Never in my life have I ever felt so proud!

Hail BVB! Hail BVB! Hail BVB! Hail BVB!

Here goes the first video. Obviously mine, a pre-recorded one..... 

Regards,

Raj.

Ps.: 

1. Only BVB alumni can realize the colour coding in this! And yes mine is Maroon and yes am from Vivekananda.

2. The post will be appended with videos as and when they emerge.

India Modified.....

A significant day for Indian democracy yesterday..

A small town tea boy is now the prime minister of India.

All said and done, I believe he is not going to have any honeymoon. A fragmented own party, not many friends in the Indian political leadership, very hostile neighbours, always (so far) a resistant west, a very corrupt system in hand and on top of everything huge expectations of an young India, he is going to have lot of dimensions with which he is going to be judged. Probably, he is taking the most difficult job on earth in modern times where everyone is expecting something out of him; success or failure. Even the normal ones that do not vote and normally aren't worried about state of affairs in India, is possibly now looking at what this man has to offer.

Not that am an anti Congress or pro BJP person, but am really a common man who very well knows the system isn't right here. From a bloody traffic rules to getting something like a passport there is a lot of corruption and am very well aware am party to it as well. That is the very state of a common man. He has to be so bloody well be corrupt to be a survivor in this country.

Now this is a leap of faith one has to have... Yes he has his own flaws but so is everyone like me.. I just hope he does at least 10% of what he said he would do or is perceived to be done by him...

Let's give him space and not judge him very early..

I really wish him well not for his own sake, but for India's sake. If not now, never ever would we have a chance to pride ourselves as Indians.

All the best Mr. Modi... I wish you good luck to get that India "Modi"fied to be a fact... Please change me too..

- Raj.

Ovvaiyaar’s Aathichudi with Mei Ezhutuhgal now.

Long back, I wrote something on our grand old Lady Ovvaiyar's Aathichudi and the compilation was for only Mei Ezhuthugal.

There were requests from a lot of folks to post them for Mei Ezhuthugal as well. I can say an excuse of not finding time, but the real reason was I did not have the resources nor the knowledge to write the correct ones! Now, I bumped up on my friend Sabari Ganesh who had it all compiled on his FB page and am just presenting it as is. Enjoy reading.

Uyir Ezhuthugal:

1. அறம் செய விரும்பு / 1. Learn to love virtue.

2. ஆறுவது சினம் / 2. Control anger.
3. இயல்வது கரவேல் / 3. Don't forget Charity.
4. ஈவது விலக்கேல் / 4. Don't prevent philanthropy.
5. உடையது விளம்பேல் / 5. Don't betray confidence.
6. ஊக்கமது கைவிடேல் / 6. Don't forsake motivation.
7. எண் எழுத்து இகழேல் / 7. Don't despise learning.
8. ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி / 8. Don't freeload.
9. ஐயம் இட்டு உண் / 9. Feed the hungry and then feast.
10. ஒப்புரவு ஒழுகு / 10. Emulate the great.
11. ஓதுவது ஒழியேல் / 11. Discern the good and learn.
12. ஒளவியம் பேசேல் / 12. Speak no envy.
13. அகம் சுருக்கேல் / 13. Don't shortchange.

Mei Ezhuthugal:

14. கண்டொன்று சொல்லேல் / 14. Don't flip-flop.
15. ஙப் போல் வளை / 15. Bend to befriend.
16. சனி நீராடு / 16. Shower regularly.
17. ஞயம்பட உரை / 17. Sweeten your speech.
18. இடம்பட வீடு எடேல் / 18. Judiciously space your home.
19. இணக்கம் அறிந்து இணங்கு / 19. Befriend the best.
20. தந்தை தாய்ப் பேண் / 20. Protect your parents.
21. நன்றி மறவேல் / 21. Don't forget gratitude.
22. பருவத்தே பயிர் செய் / 22. Husbandry has its season.
23. மண் பறித்து உண்ணேல் / 23. Don't land-grab.
24. இயல்பு அலாதன செய்யேல் / 24. Desist demeaning deeds.
25. அரவம் ஆட்டேல் / 25. Don't play with snakes.
26. இலவம் பஞ்சில் துயில் / 26. Cotton bed better for comfort.
27. வஞ்சகம் பேசேல் / 27. Don't sugar-coat words.
28. அழகு அலாதன செய்யேல் / 28. Detest the disorderly.
29. இளமையில் கல் / 29. Learn when young.
30. அரனை மறவேல் / 30. Cherish charity.
31. அனந்தல் ஆடேல் / 31. Over sleeping is obnoxious.
32. கடிவது மற / 32. Constant anger is corrosive.
33. காப்பது விரதம் / 33. Saving lives superior to fasting.
34. கிழமைப்பட வாழ் / 34. Make wealth beneficial.
35. கீழ்மை அகற்று / 35. Distance from the wicked.
36. குணமது கைவிடேல் / 36. Keep all that are useful.
37. கூடிப் பிரியேல் / 37. Don't forsake friends.
38. கெடுப்பது ஒழி / 38. Abandon animosity.
39. கேள்வி முயல் / 39. Learn from the learned.
40. கைவினை கரவேல் / 40. Don't hide knowledge.
41. கொள்ளை விரும்பேல் / 41. Don't swindle.
42. கோதாட்டு ஒழி / 42. Ban all illegal games.
43. கெளவை அகற்று / 43. Don't vilify.
44. சக்கர நெறி நில் / 44. Honor your Lands Constitution.
45. சான்றோர் இனத்து இரு / 45. Associate with the noble.
46. சித்திரம் பேசேல் / 46. Stop being paradoxical.
47. சீர்மை மறவேல் / 47. Remember to be righteous.
48. சுளிக்கச் சொல்லேல் / 48. Don't hurt others feelings.
49. சூது விரும்பேல் / 49. Don't gamble.
50. செய்வன திருந்தச் செய் / 50. Action with perfection.
51. சேரிடம் அறிந்து சேர் / 51. Seek out good friends.
52. சையெனத் திரியேல் / 52. Avoid being insulted.
53. சொற் சோர்வு படேல் / 53. Don't show fatigue in conversation.
54. சோம்பித் திரியேல் / 54. Don't be a lazybones.
55. தக்கோன் எனத் திரி / 55. Be trustworthy.
56. தானமது விரும்பு / 56. Be kind to the unfortunate.
57. திருமாலுக்கு அடிமை செய் / 57. Serve the protector.
58. தீவினை அகற்று / 58. Don't sin.
59. துன்பத்திற்கு இடம் கொடேல் / 59. Don't attract suffering.
60. தூக்கி வினை செய் / 60. Deliberate every action.
61. தெய்வம் இகழேல் / 61. Don't defame the divine.
62. தேசத்தோடு ஒட்டி வாழ் / 62. Live in unison with your countrymen.
63. தையல் சொல் கேளேல் / 63. Don't listen to the designing.
64. தொன்மை மறவேல் / 64. Don't forget your past glory.
65. தோற்பன தொடரேல் / 65. Don't compete if sure of defeat.
66. நன்மை கடைப்பிடி / 66. Adhere to the beneficial.
67. நாடு ஒப்பன செய் / 67. Do nationally agreeables.
68. நிலையில் பிரியேல் / 68. Don't depart from good standing.
69. நீர் விளையாடேல் / 69. Don't jump into a watery grave.
70. நுண்மை நுகரேல் / 70. Don't over snack.
71. நூல் பல கல் / 71. Read variety of materials.
72. நெற்பயிர் விளைவு செய் / 72. Grow your own staple.
73. நேர்பட ஒழுகு / 73. Exhibit good manners always.
74. நைவினை நணுகேல் / 74. Don't involve in destruction.
75. நொய்ய உரையேல் / 75. Don't dabble in sleaze.
76. நோய்க்கு இடம் கொடேல் / 76. Avoid unhealthy lifestyle.
77. பழிப்பன பகரேல் / 77. Speak no vulgarity.
78. பாம்பொடு பழகேல் / 78. Keep away from the vicious.
79. பிழைபடச் சொல்லேல் / 79. Watch out for self incrimination.
80. பீடு பெற நில் / 80. Follow path of honor.
81. புகழ்ந்தாரைப் போற்றி வாழ் / 81. Protect your benefactor.
82. பூமி திருத்தி உண் / 82. Cultivate the land and feed.
83. பெரியாரைத் துணைக் கொள் / 83. Seek help from the old and wise.
84. பேதைமை அகற்று / 84. Eradicate ignorance.
85. பையலோடு இணங்கேல் / 85. Don't comply with idiots.
86. பொருள்தனைப் போற்றி வாழ் / 86. Protect and enhance your wealth.
87. போர்த் தொழில் புரியேல் / 87. Don't encourage war.
88. மனம் தடுமாறேல் / 88. Don't vacillate.
89. மாற்றானுக்கு இடம் கொடேல் / 89. Don't accommodate your enemy.
90. மிகைபடச் சொல்லேல் / 90. Don't over dramatize.
91. மீதூண் விரும்பேல் / 91. Don't be a glutton.
92. முனைமுகத்து நில்லேல் / 92. Don't join an unjust fight.
93. மூர்க்கரோடு இணங்கேல் / 93. Don't agree with the stubborn.
94. மெல்லி நல்லாள் தோள்சேர் / 94. Stick with your exemplary wife.
95. மேன்மக்கள் சொல் கேள் / 95. Listen to men of quality.
96. மை விழியார் மனை அகல் / 96. Dissociate from the jealous.
97. மொழிவது அற மொழி / 97. Speak with clarity.
98. மோகத்தை முனி / 98. Hate any desire for lust.
99. வல்லமை பேசேல் / 99. Don't self praise.
100. வாது முற்கூறேல் / 100. Don't gossip or spread rumor.
101. வித்தை விரும்பு / 101. Long to learn.
102. வீடு பெற நில் / 102. Work for a peaceful life.
103. உத்தமனாய் இரு / 103. Lead exemplary life.
104. ஊருடன் கூடி வாழ் / 104. Live amicably.
105. வெட்டெனப் பேசேல் / 105. Don't be harsh with words and deeds.
106. வேண்டி வினை செயேல் / 106. Don't premeditate harm.
107. வைகறைத் துயில் எழு / 107. Be an early-riser.
108. ஒன்னாரைத் தேறேல் / 108. Never join your enemy.
109. ஓரம் சொல்லேல் / 109. Be impartial in judgement.

- ஔவையார்.

For the sake of people who cannot read Thamizh, I'll try to transliterate this into English in a shortwhile. 

- Raj

Again on Choices....

I had posted earlier on what are right or wrong choices and I kind of on a lighter note felt that it is at a few times not so possible.. ;) While I still stand by my earlier remark, here is one of my experience..

The only time you know your choices were right or wrong straight away is when you are at a Toll Plaza..... Shit happens to me every time that I always choose the wrong booth.. And even if I choose the wrong choice you cannot make it work or reverse it.. 

Wanted to write this long back, but since I keep driving a lot in the last couple of months and with 8 Plazas between Erode & Chennai, I feel the frustration creeping up because of making the so called wrong judgment!! 

Feeling really amused on when I can pick a right choice at a toll plaza... 

 - Raj.

What do we leave in Children?

A few days back, I was having an interesting email conversation with my friend a senior colleague on what level of Morality we tend to have and what we expect from others. While that topic (which is something he wrote on) is not what I want to discuss in this, the below is what was a spun off topic on what we do Children these days in terms of our expectations and how well we as parents or family or society give them Moral Education..

Like what I keep saying, our whole system starting from education has been spoilt. We used to have something called moral science in our generation, we used to have grandparents teaching morals to us, but these are now a luxury. In fact, I can blame it only on the parents of this generation for this as, we seem to accept things as is and we do not want to fight it. We think it is not our fight and let this immorality become the norm for our children.

I was in a How to be better parenting presentation few days back and the trainer asked the audience what each one of us was our child to be. The trainer asked me only as the last person, “Raj what do you want your daughter to be?”. True to myself, I said, I want them to be good human beings with right morals, fighting attitude, mental and physical fitness and nice social awareness with excellent self-esteem. Interestingly, none of the parents were near to what I wanted.

Coming back to the point, the point is Moral values are getting lost in India and thanks to parents & society and the need of the hour is each of us need to go back to the roots. In that session, all parents (not that I blame them) wanted their children to be scientist, doctor, IAS etc.,. forgetting about being Human Beings. We are being pressured by our peers and worse by the peers of our children too.

Not that I claim I’m best parent, but that is what I tell my daughters every single day like a slogan. Be patient, be honest, be brave, be calm, be tolerant, be respectful and so on (at least 25 as much as I could think of). Even then, I feel am not close to what I want to instill in their thoughts. I do often get scared that when they become like what I say, they will be odd ladies out, but then at least am trying.

What I leave for them is not significant, what I leave in them is very important.

Now whether or not am right or if it would be good for my daughters, is for the time to judge. But then, I feel am nurturing my seeds in the right way and in a responsible way too. Am a firm believer that honesty and hard work pay, though at times it is a very difficult choice, but I feel am content and can sleep very well at nights.

I know there are many other different (and better) ways of doing it, but then one cannot master all!

- Raj

Intelligent or Stupid Questions?

To a post on LinkedIn... The question was something related to Intelligent questioning.. This was my answer.. 

To me no question is stupid or intelligent because the nature of the question is derived by the answer to the question and primarily the person who answers it! Anyone who has the guts to ask any sort of question to me is intelligent as he wants to learn more!

Regards,
Raj

Happy 2014!

Here comes the New Year and again what I wrote 2 years back makes sense still like what I said last year!

While last year was Year of Optimism, I would like to call this year as an Year of Hope.

Hope is the only factor that keeps waking us up every single day. 
Hope is the only sedative that makes us sleep. 
Hope is the only light that keeps us moving during our darker days.

Hope is the only hope that keeps us looking forward despite setbacks.

I honestly feel that hope is the only cure for all of our problems and wounds.  

May this year be Year of Hope where things will change for good in India and larger world too.
I do hope that there are changes in store for me and everyone associated with me which would be for greater purpose.

All the best to all of us!

Happy New Year!

Regards,
Raj.

Right or Wrong Choices?

It is my experience.. when you have two choices and you are unable to decide which you "think" is the right one and you decide to flip a coin.... The right option will be known moments after you flip the coin up and you "feel" the right option even before the coin starts descending... You would desperately want the coin to take your feeling and give the right choice...

Moral of the statement... do what you feel is right.. If it was wrong, you try to make it right or learn to live with it. And no regrets...

- Yours Truly!

5th October, 2013

Frankly, before I started this one, I did go through what I wrote last year just to ensure that I prepare to defend myself should I have given some promises. Thankfully, I made none then!

First up, thanks for all the wishes. It really is a lot refreshing and may be when we are ageing, it is really is heart filling when a lot of people wish you. Doesn't matter where they get the reminder from, but a few seconds in their positive thoughts gives me the energy forever.

This year, of course for all obvious reasons has been very special and it really was a mixed one personally and professionally nothing much has changed.

I probably have started my transformation. Oct 2nd, 2012 was when we confirmed that Leela has conceived and since then, the journey has been really a roller coaster. May be during Leela's first pregnancy, I did not probably understand what a lady goes through during pregnancy and how well men should support particularly during this era of nuclear family. I wouldn't call it tough for I really relished this new responsibility of a caring husband and responsible father, but certainly did challenge me a lot to change myself.

Until January, Leela had nausea trouble and on and off we had the mothers coming and supporting us. However, during the periods when it was not possible, that is when I had felt more responsible. Waking up at 5:00 which was never a chance earlier, getting things ready for my ladies, waking up Nilaa and getting her ready for school and packing her off, then getting Leela feel better to me leaving to office only to return by lunch to take care of Nilaa and of course this was a bit of a run for me and new one too. But I did relish that and enjoyed every bit of it. This period was one when I realized what women go through in their life. My patience running out when Nilaa gets really out of control and Leela not pulling herself up, the normal calm me did lose my control at times. But looking back, that period really did change me a lot. Cannot imagine my life without ladies for they give everything! 

February to April marked the elevation of the next generation in our entire family from being the protected to protectors. Yes, the last two of my grandparents, both my grand mothers passed away in a span of two months. It was sad to let them go, but this is nature and we need to keep moving. What was important in those two instances was that it showed how we as cousins are still what we were. Even after these many years, after all the changes that has happened in our respective lives, with change in priorities, we still care for each other and still stand by each other. This revelation was very charming to know that our cousins have the same shoulder until a decade back and we can look up for each other for comfort. Now, we all realize that, we are the middle generation, our parents moving up to be the eldest of the generations and with our kids coming through, we now are assuming the role of protector of our parents and our kids. This for me, is a bit scary as I was not too sure if I can handle, but that is beauty of Mother Nature. Am slowly slipping into this and most importantly, the elders are giving away that tole to us. 

May was, the ultimate. With Oviyaa coming in, life suddenly is too different and this is when I probably started turning myself into a different person. Life seems a bit more relaxed and am having different perceptions to the challenges that I face both on my personal and professional sides. I hope, I build on this and am very curious to see what the transformed Raj would look like. 

Like what I said earlier, this year has been a very mixed with letting go of our roots while new fruits (as many as 6 Gen next's coming out) being delivered. Our parents are the roots now and we have to become the backbone, trunk of the family. 

The whole of this year, I think my thoughts have been only with my family in ensuring that our transformations were right. I have missed communicating with many a friends, but friends are friends, they understand without having to be told about the problems I face. It's a liberty only friends have! 

My team has been rock solid in supporting me when I went through this. Almost all of them were thrust with new responsibilities and with me not much being around physically for their counseling, they also have grown! In one sense, now they can become the protectors and I can safely be the protected, but am not going to stop.. ;)

This birth day on the 5th was a bit laid back with all of us spending time together as a family at our place with a relaxed dinner and some chit chat. I wish all birth days are similar and it becomes a day of celebration as a family. May be, the Ramzan's, Christmas' and Deepavali's or any other festivals were some sort of family get together's which has now crept into every form of the society.

The next year and the following ones, I probably am going to take it simple and want to take life slowly. For some, it may seem pessimistic, but for people who see my pragmatic side, can understand what I mean. This does not mean am not going to be ambitious or do not want growth or whatever, it is about seeing things evenly with calmness and optimism.

May be, next year the same time, we shall see whether I would be able to get started with this goal.

Having read through this entire stuff, I know you could be saying crap. But, I know (with some sort of arrogance) that am blessed with all your love.

I love to be loved....

I live to be loved....

As Always,

Raj.