Friday, September 24, 2010

Self Retrospect

While at Masinagudi during our vacations I met a couple from Bangalore vacationing, the husband working in IT and the wife a teacher. We just started some conversation and slowly it inevitably turned into how hectic life is.. and why we wanted to have a break and how we cannot be left alone etc.,.

Well as always, the talkative side of me took over and was talking telling how busy I'm and how I don't get to spend sometime with my family. At one point, I realized that rather than feeling the pain and being apologetic, I was in a way boasting myself as if it was a matter of pride! How insane!??! I realized that work is not always what is important. It is family, health and then wealth.

Honestly I really do not know how I can reverse the damage I have done by not being a responsible person in life with respect to my family, I can only change myself here after. Not sure if the steps that I would take will ever heal the probable wounds that I would have created in the hearts of everyone who love me dearly, but I wish I will not rub on it more.

Not spending time with your kid or wife or parents or siblings is not a matter of pride. It is absolute shame.

I now realize that Nilaa spells out a few words, does a lot of small things that brings smiles on to her face and that she would never ever repeat probably. I realize that Leela needs more of my time to talk about what happened on a day and help her out in some small house hold works. I missed out that I completely missed asking my mom on what has been happening back at home and the issues and problems.

I have made a few resolutions that I have started implementing and I hope I can sustain that going forward no matter what. This is not a guan to others but rather to myself! Change yourself Raj! It's time and not always everyone would be patient and persevere with you!

3 comments:

LK said...

job is not the only thing.. lot of other things we miss out due to proffesionalism raj

Roger Stoffers said...

I fully agree bro!!! I'm glad you realized while still 'young' :P

Vimala Arul said...

I think it is a matter of "balance". If we don't work enough, we'll feel that we have missed professional life.

What you say is a great realization... "I was in a way boasting myself as if it was a matter of pride! "