Friday, September 24, 2010

Self Retrospect

While at Masinagudi during our vacations I met a couple from Bangalore vacationing, the husband working in IT and the wife a teacher. We just started some conversation and slowly it inevitably turned into how hectic life is.. and why we wanted to have a break and how we cannot be left alone etc.,.

Well as always, the talkative side of me took over and was talking telling how busy I'm and how I don't get to spend sometime with my family. At one point, I realized that rather than feeling the pain and being apologetic, I was in a way boasting myself as if it was a matter of pride! How insane!??! I realized that work is not always what is important. It is family, health and then wealth.

Honestly I really do not know how I can reverse the damage I have done by not being a responsible person in life with respect to my family, I can only change myself here after. Not sure if the steps that I would take will ever heal the probable wounds that I would have created in the hearts of everyone who love me dearly, but I wish I will not rub on it more.

Not spending time with your kid or wife or parents or siblings is not a matter of pride. It is absolute shame.

I now realize that Nilaa spells out a few words, does a lot of small things that brings smiles on to her face and that she would never ever repeat probably. I realize that Leela needs more of my time to talk about what happened on a day and help her out in some small house hold works. I missed out that I completely missed asking my mom on what has been happening back at home and the issues and problems.

I have made a few resolutions that I have started implementing and I hope I can sustain that going forward no matter what. This is not a guan to others but rather to myself! Change yourself Raj! It's time and not always everyone would be patient and persevere with you!


LK said...

job is not the only thing.. lot of other things we miss out due to proffesionalism raj

Roger Stoffers said...

I fully agree bro!!! I'm glad you realized while still 'young' :P

Vimala Arul said...

I think it is a matter of "balance". If we don't work enough, we'll feel that we have missed professional life.

What you say is a great realization... "I was in a way boasting myself as if it was a matter of pride! "