Thursday, January 30, 2014

What do we leave in Children?

A few days back, I was having an interesting email conversation with my friend a senior colleague on what level of Morality we tend to have and what we expect from others. While that topic (which is something he wrote on) is not what I want to discuss in this, the below is what was a spun off topic on what we do Children these days in terms of our expectations and how well we as parents or family or society give them Moral Education..

Like what I keep saying, our whole system starting from education has been spoilt. We used to have something called moral science in our generation, we used to have grandparents teaching morals to us, but these are now a luxury. In fact, I can blame it only on the parents of this generation for this as, we seem to accept things as is and we do not want to fight it. We think it is not our fight and let this immorality become the norm for our children.

I was in a How to be better parenting presentation few days back and the trainer asked the audience what each one of us was our child to be. The trainer asked me only as the last person, “Raj what do you want your daughter to be?”. True to myself, I said, I want them to be good human beings with right morals, fighting attitude, mental and physical fitness and nice social awareness with excellent self-esteem. Interestingly, none of the parents were near to what I wanted.

Coming back to the point, the point is Moral values are getting lost in India and thanks to parents & society and the need of the hour is each of us need to go back to the roots. In that session, all parents (not that I blame them) wanted their children to be scientist, doctor, IAS etc.,. forgetting about being Human Beings. We are being pressured by our peers and worse by the peers of our children too.

Not that I claim I’m best parent, but that is what I tell my daughters every single day like a slogan. Be patient, be honest, be brave, be calm, be tolerant, be respectful and so on (at least 25 as much as I could think of). Even then, I feel am not close to what I want to instill in their thoughts. I do often get scared that when they become like what I say, they will be odd ladies out, but then at least am trying.

What I leave for them is not significant, what I leave in them is very important.

Now whether or not am right or if it would be good for my daughters, is for the time to judge. But then, I feel am nurturing my seeds in the right way and in a responsible way too. Am a firm believer that honesty and hard work pay, though at times it is a very difficult choice, but I feel am content and can sleep very well at nights.

I know there are many other different (and better) ways of doing it, but then one cannot master all!

- Raj


Priya Muthuswamy said...

Very well thought sir. Nowadays the so-called new-age parents wish their kids excel in all fields like academics, arts and science. They want their children to do everything possible under the sky in the name of being competent in this material world. This makes the children basically lose their precious childhood which is supposed to be the best part of their lives. They focus only on these aspects and become dumb towards certain people aspects.

How many children of this age know to behave properly outside, respect elders or treat fellow people properly? How many children know to play in mud these days? How many children visit their relatives homes during vacation? How many children really have vacation?

Nowadays the parents planning their activities according to children's schedule has become a fashion. Something which they do with so much pride and pleasure. Gone are the days when childhood used to be a gift. Now it is more a burden.

Parents have set up a fancy boundary around the children and do not want them to come out of it at any cost. As a result, the kids have become over matured. They no-more speak and behave like kids. Their childishness is lost deep into their routine. They do come out extraordinarily shining in all fields. But are they really happy is a question mark!!

This situation has to change and people have to concentrate more on the behavioral aspects also. Parents have to teach children to respect elders instead of pushing them for all classes. Teachers should inculcate good moral and humanitarian standards rather than simply driving them mad after algebra and trigonometry.

It takes just a google search to understand even the most complex technical problem. But it really needs a strong moral base and a life time to evolve as a good human being.

Please make a choice by yourself as to which is difficult and which needs your focus more as parents!!

Praveen Shasundar said...

Well said Raj Anna..

Two days back I was thinking the same, after seeing my friend's kid. Glad that I came across the blog.
Where are they leading their life?
Are they getting time to enjoy their childhood? Where are the childishness of a kid nowadays? (!??!??!?)

Almost all the parents want their kids to be "Perfect" in everything, but they lose to teach them the basic moral.

Trust me, there are lot of things for us to learn from a kid's childishness.

If we are patient enough to listen to them and guide them through, they will have the desired life.

Raymond Prakash said...

Good one raj, hope u remember me this is Raymond from Gluck

Rekha said...

Excellent blog, Raj!

Especially the below line is extra-ordinary and an eye opener for me,
"What I leave for them is not significant, what I leave in them is very important"