Right or Wrong Choices?

It is my experience.. when you have two choices and you are unable to decide which you "think" is the right one and you decide to flip a coin.... The right option will be known moments after you flip the coin up and you "feel" the right option even before the coin starts descending... You would desperately want the coin to take your feeling and give the right choice...

Moral of the statement... do what you feel is right.. If it was wrong, you try to make it right or learn to live with it. And no regrets...

- Yours Truly!

5th October, 2013

Frankly, before I started this one, I did go through what I wrote last year just to ensure that I prepare to defend myself should I have given some promises. Thankfully, I made none then!

First up, thanks for all the wishes. It really is a lot refreshing and may be when we are ageing, it is really is heart filling when a lot of people wish you. Doesn't matter where they get the reminder from, but a few seconds in their positive thoughts gives me the energy forever.

This year, of course for all obvious reasons has been very special and it really was a mixed one personally and professionally nothing much has changed.

I probably have started my transformation. Oct 2nd, 2012 was when we confirmed that Leela has conceived and since then, the journey has been really a roller coaster. May be during Leela's first pregnancy, I did not probably understand what a lady goes through during pregnancy and how well men should support particularly during this era of nuclear family. I wouldn't call it tough for I really relished this new responsibility of a caring husband and responsible father, but certainly did challenge me a lot to change myself.

Until January, Leela had nausea trouble and on and off we had the mothers coming and supporting us. However, during the periods when it was not possible, that is when I had felt more responsible. Waking up at 5:00 which was never a chance earlier, getting things ready for my ladies, waking up Nilaa and getting her ready for school and packing her off, then getting Leela feel better to me leaving to office only to return by lunch to take care of Nilaa and of course this was a bit of a run for me and new one too. But I did relish that and enjoyed every bit of it. This period was one when I realized what women go through in their life. My patience running out when Nilaa gets really out of control and Leela not pulling herself up, the normal calm me did lose my control at times. But looking back, that period really did change me a lot. Cannot imagine my life without ladies for they give everything! 

February to April marked the elevation of the next generation in our entire family from being the protected to protectors. Yes, the last two of my grandparents, both my grand mothers passed away in a span of two months. It was sad to let them go, but this is nature and we need to keep moving. What was important in those two instances was that it showed how we as cousins are still what we were. Even after these many years, after all the changes that has happened in our respective lives, with change in priorities, we still care for each other and still stand by each other. This revelation was very charming to know that our cousins have the same shoulder until a decade back and we can look up for each other for comfort. Now, we all realize that, we are the middle generation, our parents moving up to be the eldest of the generations and with our kids coming through, we now are assuming the role of protector of our parents and our kids. This for me, is a bit scary as I was not too sure if I can handle, but that is beauty of Mother Nature. Am slowly slipping into this and most importantly, the elders are giving away that tole to us. 

May was, the ultimate. With Oviyaa coming in, life suddenly is too different and this is when I probably started turning myself into a different person. Life seems a bit more relaxed and am having different perceptions to the challenges that I face both on my personal and professional sides. I hope, I build on this and am very curious to see what the transformed Raj would look like. 

Like what I said earlier, this year has been a very mixed with letting go of our roots while new fruits (as many as 6 Gen next's coming out) being delivered. Our parents are the roots now and we have to become the backbone, trunk of the family. 

The whole of this year, I think my thoughts have been only with my family in ensuring that our transformations were right. I have missed communicating with many a friends, but friends are friends, they understand without having to be told about the problems I face. It's a liberty only friends have! 

My team has been rock solid in supporting me when I went through this. Almost all of them were thrust with new responsibilities and with me not much being around physically for their counseling, they also have grown! In one sense, now they can become the protectors and I can safely be the protected, but am not going to stop.. ;)

This birth day on the 5th was a bit laid back with all of us spending time together as a family at our place with a relaxed dinner and some chit chat. I wish all birth days are similar and it becomes a day of celebration as a family. May be, the Ramzan's, Christmas' and Deepavali's or any other festivals were some sort of family get together's which has now crept into every form of the society.

The next year and the following ones, I probably am going to take it simple and want to take life slowly. For some, it may seem pessimistic, but for people who see my pragmatic side, can understand what I mean. This does not mean am not going to be ambitious or do not want growth or whatever, it is about seeing things evenly with calmness and optimism.

May be, next year the same time, we shall see whether I would be able to get started with this goal.

Having read through this entire stuff, I know you could be saying crap. But, I know (with some sort of arrogance) that am blessed with all your love.

I love to be loved....

I live to be loved....

As Always,

Raj.

Team Play

Sometimes, we got to love the likes of Facebooks for they share a lot of different perspectives. I was watching below because of a FB share and was really overawed by the performance.

While this was an amazing performance (every lady on that team was truly a talent), what it exhibited was the attitude and spirit of being a team. All the attributes of being a team is simply for us to view. Apart from Passion, will to succeed, determination, what I saw were coordination & cooperation & collaboration & co-existence & courage & consideration & care.

We can see that each one wanted everyone to succeed. Each one knew what her role was and importantly others' as well. Each of them knew what needs to be done to be a winning team. They were willing to bend themselves so that others' targets were achieved. They slowed down a bit so that others caught up. They shared their cups when others had less. There was no one leader and everyone was allowed to lead when needed; and everyone stepped in when a need to lead the team arose.

Above all, there was enough trust between them. They always believed that someone was there to catch their property when it was in air, even when others were at their backs!

A best way to see this performance is an execution as a team and survival as a team and success because of being a team. A very good lesson for all the teams across all industries!

Regards,
Raj.
PS.: I'm using this video as an appreciation for their performance and also to share my views on how they performed as a team.

Friendship's Day

 "துன்பம் வரலாம் இன்பம் வரலாம்... நண்பன் ஒருவன் பங்கு பெறலாம்..."
என்னை விட இந்த வரிகளை உணர்தவர் யார் உண்டோ....

நண்பர்கள் தின நல் வாழ்த்துகள்...
"இந்த தேகம் மறைந்தாலும் நட்பாய் மலர்வேன்..."

Friends are so important and friendships are the key to anyone's life. That is why every culture in the world keeps telling even the parents to be a friend with their children....

Happy Friendships day to everyone...

- Raj

What is Lust?

Most often than not, people tend to portray lust as a very dangerous, derogatory, unwanted, unneeded and unpleasant factor. Especially relating to Humans.

In my view, lust is the most misunderstood and misrepresented term and only defined from the view of sexual desires within the confines of physical pleasure. Little does anyone acknowledge that without lust this world wouldn't even grow. Let's try dissecting my statement. If lust is something that attracts opposite genders physically, that's a bee does to a flower, which creates pollination turning a flower into a fruit and in turn giving us seeds to have more trees! Likewise, a male-female attraction is what allowed to world to blossom into what it is now! And that attraction was fair and square because of lust, how can that be scary than being sacred!  

Not sure how and when every culture started disrespecting lust. But in tamil literature, to be very specific our own Thiruvalluvar defines all of his kurals under categories. அறத்துப்பால் (pronounced as Arathupaal meaning Morality), பொருட்பால் (pronounced as porutpaal meaning Material), காமத்துப்பால் (pronounced as Kaamathupaal meaning desires and Kaamam alone translates to lust); 3rd one being what we are speaking about. If Valluvar defined it as one of the main elements/pillars of your life, it has to be important. After all, all of tamil literature references back to Thirukkural! 

Over the course of time, Lust from being one important element of life to, being the most dangerous element, I think, the humans made it into that! 

So in all, my perspective, Lust is like every other emotion, feeling and also the most basic instinct that any living being has. There should be no shame in admitting to that!

Regards,

Raj.

Oviyaa Arrives

Oviyaa Arrives....
Nilaa Receives....
Leela Delivers our second part of our lives...

Thanks to all your wishes to be blessed with a baby girl....

எங்கள் வாழ்கையின் பாதைக்கு நிலவின் வெளிச்சம்...
எங்கள் வாழ்கையின் கனவுகளுக்கு ஓவியத்தின் வண்ணம்...
என் வாழ்கை இன்றும், என்றும், எப்பொழுதும் லீலைகளோடு...

வாழ்திய அணைத்து உள்ளங்களுக்கும், எங்கள் நன்றிகள்....

- Raj

Employee Engagement

In today's corporate world there are a lot of initiatives that are run for improving their employee engagement index. Somewhere, I think there is a disconnect on what it means to the employee. In my view, I think, the more often than not, the whole discussion of Employee engagement for some strange but valid reasons are revolving around fun, outing, lunch, family and so on. I feel it is absolutely necessary, however, in my view it just probably 10% of it.

The other 90% is all about (not in any particular order). There could be many more to this list as well.

• line of sight (how do I contribute to overall organization’s goals)
• how employees feel valued (rewards, recognition, appreciation)
• am I listened (skip levels, luncheons)?
• how my mistakes are received (encouragement to be innovative, am I shielded by my manager)?
• how is my team environment (support from my peers, friends)
• how secured do I feel about my company’s prospects (any press release or rumors within market)?
• am I respected for what I’m (Manager treating everyone equitably)?
• do I have a work environment where I can contribute (training's/support system)?
• does my manager care about me and my well being (professionally and also personally)?
• am I learning constantly (new challenge)?
• are my ideas received well (or at least not ridiculed)?
• have I grown (career progression, new role)?

This all directly relates to the immediate manager on how he/she manages his team mates. How well has a manager enabled, respected, trusted, challenged, motivated, related, empathized with his/her direct report is what it matters. The manager's leadership styles, character, personality and most importantly honesty and integrity of the manager matter a lot. And as one of my friend said, there is no specific formula for Employee Engagement and it cannot be generalized, for all we know, even the above factors may mean different to different individuals. 

It is also all about those intangible emotions like passion, pride, honesty, integrity, commitment, respect trust and so on and this has to be exhibited by the manager first and which will trickle down to the team. These can never be measured with numbers!

To me, Employee Engagement starts and stops with the immediate manager! It is a huge responsibility on the manager's shoulders to keep an employee feeling engaged and have him/her motivated to be committed to the organization, particularly in these trying times that we have put ourselves in!

- Raj

Women!

The other day at work, on the 8th of march, we have been celebrating the International Women's day.

I thought it is a bit unfair to Women to celebrate them on just a day. Never the less, here is what I said and thought.

Every single relationship that a woman gives to a man has a lot of meaning. The below are a few roles that I see from my perspective and what they mean to me.

Grand Mother - Give unconditional love and affection. 

Aunt - Give the sense of direction and guidance.

Friend - Give a new perspective about life.

Daughter - Give the purpose of a life.

Sister - Trusted and loyal friend forever.

Wife - Life.

Mother - God (though I say nature is God and that is why we call her Mother Nature!)

Of course, there are many other relationships which mean a lot to a man and I mean no disrespect by missing them. I think they are pretty much included in the list above!

A woman is creator. Everyday is new and let us celebrate her everyday!

Women complete men!

- Raj

A Talent called Kamal Hassan!

There has been a lot said about Viswaroopam being a commual movie. Here is my thought that I shared on my FB wall added with few more emotions that came from this day! This is not against any section of the society! Kamal Can withstand these crap, I cannot!

- Raj

Sorry Kamal! Or Should we say... Apologies Kamal? Sorry that you are not celebrated because you are an Indian born in Tamil Nadu! 

What is secularism in India? I really now am confused!

We cannot just generalize and make it a communal problem... Movies are entertainments... 

If this goes like what is being said, then no movie should be released... All Thamizh/Indian movies have gundas or villains .. And not all of them are Muslims or not always are they are non Muslims... 

From Nayagan to Paruthiveeran we have enough examples of where a lot of different religions, castes and sections of society have sourced the villains in the movies... Doctors/Engineers/Advocates/politicians/Media/Students/Police even beggars, every section that we can think of has done that.. 

If every community starts making issues something like this then world cannot move on... Besides this is not politics.. this is bloody entertainment... Entertainment has to be entertainment, it cannot be taken as a judgement about an issue or a cause! 

If Viswaroopam is not released at all, can we say terrorism will stop? Can anyone from the Muslim community that states this as a communal movie, guarantee that no Muslim will be involved in any terrorist attack ever across the globe? If that is the case and they can stand up and state this, let us all support them...  But, it can never be possible, because terrorism has no religion. When a bomb explodes it does not know whether it kilss an Hindu or a muslim or Singala or Thamizh or otherwise. All it needs to find someone dead, is that someone being alive just before it explodes. It does not know color, caste, creed, gender, religion or even age! Do not bring these into entertainment world and play this bloody cheap politics of using Kamal's fame to gain fame which is worse than being a beggar...

People who do not like Kamal, he respects that. You may hate him, but you cannot ignore him because he never gives you that choice! You will watch his movies no matter what!

Let that movie come out and let us all enjoy it! We cannot just be suppressing a great talent by cheap politics. But, be assured! 

Every hurdle will make him reach his goal faster! 

Every criticism will make him wiser! 

Every fall will make him climb the heights that none can dream of! 

And every failure is a success for him! 

So, as a simple Kamal Hassan Fan, I request all not to reduce his speed. Imagine what all he could do without these hurdles! It would be absolute waste of a talent for him to be running around to solve these issues. Allow him to be who he is! He will bring laurels to this nation and land!

Don't worry Kamal Hassan! Time will prove everyone wrong and you right like every single time! You have been ahead of us in time at least by 10 years always! Happy that we have lived in your era!

We know you will never quit! Thanks for what you have been so far and what you will be! Keep proving us wrong! We will be glad that we have been defeated by a world class talent!